Q00 Sex

Sex Table of Content

A09Q01 My First Encounter with Sex
A09Q02 My Second Encounter with Sex
A09Q03 Stud
A09Q04 Want a Child
A09Q05 Sex Ed Book
A09Q06 'Gay'
A09Q07 Drugs

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Q01 My First Encounter with Sex

It was late spring of sixth grade, I was standing near the school building watching my friend play hop scotch. As she walked toward the swings, she suddenly stopped with a look of panic on her face, I could see a small drop of blood on the inside of her calf. Before I could move a teacher ran to her, wiped the blood from her leg with a tissue, and practically dragged her into the school. I wanted to know what was wrong with my friend and followed at a distance. As they walked down the hall the teacher said in very disgusted voice didn't your mother tell you? In a very weak voice my friend said tell me what? I could not hear what the teacher told the school nurse, but soon she had a look of disgust on her face. The teacher closed the door and turned around, when she saw me she said YOU.... go out side and play. I was instantly mad, why couldn't I know what was wrong with my friend and went to the far side of the play ground where I could be by myself.
It was a rainy August day and my friend and I were sitting on the floor with our legs dangling out the loft door of an old carriage barn her dad used as a garage. He had removed the old doors and replaced the door below with a garage door, but didn't replace the loft door. The peak of the roof extended out some three feet preventing the rain from getting us wet. We had tired of playing board games and for some reason the other neighborhood children didn't come. We sat silently for a while, then she said rainy days sometimes make me gloomy, but not as gloomy as the worst day of my life. She told me about the day in the play ground, I didn't interrupt her or tell her what I did. She said I thought the teacher and the school nurse were mad at me, but as soon as the door closed she said, there was nothing wrong with you, every normal young girl does it and I knew she was not mad at me. I didn't understand the words she used, she gave me a pamphlet, and I could understand the drawings. When I showed it to my mother she threw it into the waste basket and when she was not looking I took it and hid it in the loft. She got up, retrieved the pamphlet, returned, and we looked at the pamphlet together. I didn't understand the words either, I did understand the drawings. When we finished she hid the pamphlet and returned. She said as soon as I could I went to visit my girl friend, she had an older sister. When we went into her room two of her friends were with her. When I told them what had happened, they said the teacher was not mad at you, she and the nurse were disgusted with your mother. One said sometimes you will be sad for no reason and sometimes you will be happy for no reason, be careful how you respond to others when your feelings change. She gave me a hug and said, now you are a woman, that made me feel good. We sat silently for a while, the rain stopped, and several more kids joined us.

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Q02 My Second Encounter with Sex

When I had my first erection I thought I would burst, but didn't think to much about it because my friends had the same experience. But my first nocturnal emission was different, none of my friends had the experience as early. I did not understand what was happening to me and when I asked my mom she said that's a man's problem. My dad said you will out grow it.
Many years later I understood why my parents could not help me, they did not have a vocabulary, they could not explain it if they wanted to. Before I entered eighth grade I had surpassed the knowledge of my parents, from then on I had to rely on my teachers, text books, and what little reading I did until I started to read in earnest.
My friends and I were the oldest boys in our families so we did not have an older brother to ask. When I asked the older boys, most ignored my question, the few who would respond said they only emitted a small amount so it was not a problem. For me, it was because I emitted a large amount, there was a pool of fluid on my tummy, my PJ's, and the top sheet were saturated. The emissions occurred about 3 to 4 days a part.
In the seventh grade I had been visiting a neighbor girl after dinner for about 20 minutes each night, her mother would call her in. At first we talked, then she wanted me to kiss her before she went into her home, I liked her, but I was not interested beyond that, but I complied. After a few times she put her arms around my neck and kissed me many times. It didn't do anything for me, but it must have for her because several days later after she stopped kissing me she would put her hands around my waist, push her hips tight against me and lean the top part of her body away, I was erect in an instant and she would push even harder for a short time and then turn and quickly go into her home. I didn't understand why she was doing it until many years later, my erection was putting pressure on her colitis giving her a feeling she could not get without having sex.
Her sister, four years older, was having sex with her boy friend and she told her about 'safe days'.
Later I learned that my brother and all of his friends were having sex on safe days and playing greyhound on the other days. My friends did not have girl friends so I didn't tell them.
About a month later I had my first sex. I did not know what I was doing, everything I did was instinctive. But it did stop the emissions for about a week.
Several years later I went with my brother to visit a friend of his and as we walked into his home, his mother was giving him a lecture. She had come home early from work and found him and his girl friend in bed. When she paused he said mom don't worry I play greyhound. She said what does a bus company have to do with it. He said a greyhound bus always pulls out of the station on time. She said I give up and left the room. He was the only one of my brothers friends whose girl friend was not pregnant before they were married.
In the ninth grade we were bused into town. In one of my classes the teacher had us sit according to the alphabet which put me in the last row on the aisle. My previous class was only two rooms away so I was always one the first students in the room, but one girl who sat in the front row came from the other end of the building and was always the last student entering the room which gave me a clear view of her as she walked to her seat. Her hips matched my idea of perfect and I would be erect every time and it would not dissipate. Walking down the halls between classes didn't help either, there were so many good looking bottoms, I had to carry at least a note book in front of me until my senior year.
Many years later I learned that 12 - 14 year old girls were aggressive sexually, at 15 - 17 they wanted a boy friend and after that they wanted a husband, that agreed with my experience. Many of the girls I knew were married soon after graduation.
Many of the authors said sex was separate from love and people did not form bonds because of sex, that did not agree with my observations.
In an English class in the eleventh grade, I heard more than at any another time until I was married. The class room was laid out much different than any other class room. Four tables of three were along the windows with a space between them and two tables of three across each end of the room with the teacher's desk on the hallway wall. I sat between two all A girls directly across from the doorway at the end table along the windows.
I was usually one of the first to arrive and the girls among the last. Because of the layout of the room I had an excellent view of them as they entered and took their seats. Not only were they smart, they were good looking and very graceful. They were a pleasure to watch. Many times one of them would say, I wish you would not look at me that way, it gives me goose bumps.
After they were seated, I would push my chair back, they would lean forward, and they would talk to each other as if I was not there. I heard about who was dating who, how far they went, what clothes and hair styles were in fashion, what events they liked and were planning on attending and the clothes they were going to wear, which boys they thought were cute, and which ones they did not like, plus much more.
One day before the class bell rang, a boy at one of the end tables went to his locker which was directly opposite of the door and hurried back. As he approached the door he looked down the hall, at the same time two girls were coming from the opposite direction he was looking and they were not paying attention. One of them slammed into him, the back of his hand went into her crotch and a breast hit his arm, boom, he was erect. She bounced off of him and continued down the hall, he stood still for an instant. The girls next to me pointed and giggled and soon all of the girls who could see him were doing the same. The teacher turned and when she saw what they were giggling about, she said calm down girls. The boy's face turned bright red and he walk down the hall out of sight and did not return that day.
After this event, I watched where girls were looking when they looked at a boy. They frequently looked at his crotch, but spent more of their time looking at the back of his head after he walked by. They looked at his arms and shoulders, too, but did not spend much time doing so. They would look at his face as long as he was not looking at them, again not for long. I thought it was odd they spent so much time looking at the back of his head and wondered if this was true of all girls.
Many years later I observed the same thing when our son went with me to the store, I could not remember where the item I wanted was located so he went down one aisle and I went down another, he found the item and headed toward the check out lane. I came around the end of the aisle and saw a young woman following him about ten feet behind and she was looking at the back of his head all the way to the check out. She turned away when I joined him. Odd.
Only one of my friends didn't go to college, my brother and all of his friends dropped out of school as soon as they were 16. Because he was my brother, he was welcome to join us. We enjoyed hiking, biking, camping, fishing, and hunting. Because I was his brother, I was welcome to join them, I did, but often I did not participate because they spent much of their time drinking beer and driving some where. They frequently would consume a tank of gasoline in one night. Between the activities of my friends and riding with his friends, I traveled down almost every road and visited almost every town in MI.
Because my brother and his friends, 19 of them and all of them worked at the same factory, now had an income larger than both of their parents, they could do almost anything they wanted to do, which attracted the attention of girls. I met the parents of 9 of his friends and 8 were dumber than dirt. Until they grew, some of their dad's would take any money they and their sisters earned, beat them and their mother. When they were strong enough they would beat their dad's badly and tell them if they didn't behave they would beat them again. Their home life improved some what and the women in their families were grateful, it also told me that on the genetic level, men were supposed to protect women, which puzzled me because they would defend their girl friends, but would also beat them. It didn't make sense.
Their girl friends would not leave them and gave them sex because they were hoping they would be married and that would allow them to escape their dysfunctional homes, plus the boys would take them to a drive in after work for a hamburg, fries, and a milk shake, it was the second meal of the day for them. The end result was sad.
Before they were 18, 18 of the girlfriends were pregnant, one couple married and 17 of their boyfriends thought they could walk away without any penalty. But in less than a week, they were not sleeping, eating, or thinking well. They were irritable and quick to anger and they did not know what was wrong with them. By the end of the month they were instinctively trying to make up with their old girlfriends, but they didn't know how to do it.
In the mean time, their girlfriends were nearly hysterical, four were, I saw one and I never wanted to see another, she never completely recovered, she was dysfunctional the rest of her life. I saw the results of the other three, they did recover, but their personality was changed, they were never the same person as before. The hope of the 17 to escape their dysfunctional families was gone, they lost the protection of their boyfriends and they were afraid of what would happen when their dad's found out. They didn't have any income and no place to go, they didn't know what to do, so when their boyfriends made an attempt to reconcile, they made it easy for them to do so. They were soon married, but the relationship was never the same and after the child was born, both of them blamed the child for the resulting marriage, they would not take responsibility for their actions. They did better with their following children, but they were soon quarreling and created their own dysfunctional family ending in divorce.
Their first child was ignored, they fed and clothed it, but it did not receive any affection, it was never held, it could never do anything right, it was blamed for every thing that went wrong. In my opinion it was a fate worse than death.
But about a third of them grew up in spite of their parents and as far as I could tell they led normal lives. Another third needed help, I was not able to follow them, but the stories I heard indicated they did get the help and did recover. The last third, I followed four of them, my contact was about once a year and in ten years three were able to recover, but not completely. The fourth I followed for forty years and it took him that long to recover.
In college the foreign students, if a professor, an instructor, or graduate assistant was present, they seldom would ask a question or participate in a discussion, but when students were by themselves they were very active. My advanced organic chem class was scheduled for three hours five days a week, but most of the time we spent four to five hours each day in the lab. The class was split 50:50 foreign and US, male female, white non white. While our experiments were cooking we did our homework and when finished we had many lively discussions.
Sex was discussed frequently, and the foreign women were not inhibited and soon the US women would contribute. They thought our country was to prudish, in their countries, sex was not the topic of discussion, but when necessary it was not avoided. They viewed sex as a natural function like eating and told how they felt when having sex as well as before and after.
Most of their societies kept boys and girls separated during the teen years and did not promote body contact between the sexes. When they held hands they kept a wider space between them than in the US. About sixteen, sex was not promoted, but it was not frowned upon either, parents did not interfere if their daughters took their boyfriends to their bedrooms. They said sex followed a cascade, the women wanted their men to hold them which would lead them to want their men in them. Then they felt full or complete, if their men withdrew and they didn't feel wet, they were not satisfied. Their mothers told them to stay disciplined and keep their thoughts on something besides sex so they could avoid the cascade and to avoid body contact and to be aware of their feelings and how they could divert or postpone those feelings and if they couldn't how to protect themselves as best they could. None of them wanted a baby without a husband. They could not believe how little many young people in the US knew about sex, (this was '54 -'55).
While in the US they avoided men at all times except in class or with large groups, they could not afford to become pregnant, but the desire for a man never left them, neither was the desire to be married and to have children, these feelings were with them all the time. The intensity of the feelings would vary, it was never the same from day to day and depended upon the events of the day to some degree such as seeing an attractive man.

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Q03 Stud

The youngest of my dad's friends enlisted as soon as he could, but by the time he finished basic training and language school the war was almost over. He never saw combat and spent the last two years of his enlistment at a post about an hour from Berlin by truck. He grew up in a small German community where the older generation spoke German, their parents spoke German to them and spoke English to their children, but the children quickly learned to speak German, too so they could talk to their grandparents. Because he learned at young age he spoke German without an English accent.
He passed the language test, but the military sent him to language school anyway. In Germany he spent his time translating German documents into English, he would read a document and a typist would type what he said. During his off time he would walk the country side, but he wanted to see Berlin. When he received a three day pass, he made arrangements with a truck driver who went to Berlin every Friday morning and returned on Monday morning. He had to be in uniform to ride in the truck.
The driver had also been raised in a small German community in a different state and when the driver made a remark in German, as they were driving, he answered in German, and they became fast friends. The driver had been chosen for this route because he could speak German. The driver said I will let you off at one of the better places and pick you on Monday morning at six at the same place.
As he got out of the truck and put one strap of a small back pack over his shoulder, four young women walking toward him said there is a fine specimen, I wonder if he would satisfy us. Without thinking he said what do you mean by 'satisfy us', in German. They mobbed him, one grabbed his hand, another grabbed his arm, another pushed him from behind, and the fourth went in front to open the door to their apartment. As they pushed and pulled him, he asked where are you taking me? To our apartment. Do I have a choice? No!
He didn't resist to strongly because he wanted to know what they were going to do. After they were in their apartment, one pushed a chair behind him and another pushed him into it. One took his back pack and set it against the wall, another removed his shoes, another unbuttoned his shirt and pulled his T shirt off. He did not know where the fourth one went. The three of them pulled him into a standing position and pulled his pants and under wear down and asked him to step out of them, he did. Then they pushed him into their bed room, the fourth one was nude on the bed and he did what comes naturally. When he came, she pushed him away saying save some for Elsie. He had sex with each one before lunch. He dressed and they asked him to sit at the table, they were dressed.
One set a bowel with potatoes and sour kraut on the table, another brought a plate with rye bread and a piece of cheese, a third brought a glass of diluted wine. As he was eating, he had time to look around. The table was small, they only had two chairs, one bed, one couch, none of the dishes and table ware were matching, they had a one burner stove, and no refrigerator. When he finished they offered him some more, he accepted. When he finished he asked how they slept. We take turns, one sleeps on the bed, one on the couch, and two on the floor. He asked if they ate, yes, but not very much, we forgot how much a man eats. Then he looked at their cupboard, it was mostly empty. They noticed and said we buy what we need each day. He asked are you still hungry, yes. Bring my back pack to me. He put two cartons of cigarettes on the table, go and get some more food. One took three packs and signaled another and they left.
When he returned to Berlin the second time the women were at work. He brought a small Allen wrench and easily unlock their door and left his back pack filled with a five pound bag of flour, four bars of Ivory soap, a bottle of shampoo, a bar of Bon Ami, plus five cartons of cigarettes and a small canvas draw string bag with as many rolls of toilet paper and packages of tampons as it would hold. He put one pack of cigarettes in his pocket, locked the door, and walked around the neighborhood.
At lunch he walked into a tavern, was greeted, with broken English, by an old man. He could feel some hostility, but when he answered in German he was welcomed. When he set the package of cigarettes on the table, the old man made a signal and his wife brought a stein of beer, soon his daughter brought a plate with slices of cheese and sausage. The old man asked what would you like to eat and he said this is more than enough and the old man said but you have given me gold you can have much more. He replied I have four friends and the old man said bring them for dinner plus five more. He replied and you will feed the five more and the old man said yes.
He finished and walked around some more and returned to the apartment. The women had been crying and said you have given us gold. He replied the old man had said the same thing, I didn't realize cigarettes were so valuable. He then told them about dinner. They quickly put on their best clothes and they walked to tavern. A three piece band was playing and young and old were dancing, they were quickly ushered to the only empty table. Food came from know where and everyone had a good time. When they left he put the rest of the carton on the table and tears ran down the old man's face.
When he returned the next time there was a large table with four chairs, the bedroom had a door, their toilet was enclosed with a door, and they had two mattresses. The results of the old man and his friends. Nothing was wasted, their old stuff was given to someone who had less.
Three of them unpacked his back pack and draw string bag and left. Without his asking the remaining one explained what they wanted. She said in Berlin there were twenty women for every man and the men were all over 50 or under 15, we knew we would never have a husband, but we could have a child and that is how we want you to satisfy us. She then asked him to teach them English, they knew French, they worked as clerks in one of their offices, but today the lights went out and everyone was sent home. She wrote sentences in German on every other line on a sheet of paper and asked him to write below each one the English counter part. They wanted to be able to talk with both French and American soldiers so they could increase their chances of becoming pregnant.
Before he finished the other women returned with a lot of food and everyone ate. He read each line in each language so they could learn the meaning of the English words and how to pronounce them. After dinner they wanted more sex and Saturday and Sunday was a repeat of Friday. He returned as often as he could. On his third visit, one was pregnant and they could not thank him enough. Each one was gratified that at least one of them would have a child.
At the time I did not understand all of the words he used, but the memory never left me and allowed me to understand when I learned the meaning of all of the words. I could observe gratification in women when one had a boyfriend, was engaged, married, or had a child, the others would hug and kiss her and each one felt gratified.

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Q04 Want a Child

In the seventh grade I had a news paper route and collected on Friday night after dinner. Most of my customers did not want to talk and had the exact change ready when I came, but some did want to talk and I would listen. Three of the most consistent talkers were three unmarried women, a teacher and two owners of small businesses. At some time during the conversation, completely out of context, they would say I wish I had a child. Over the following years I learned the desire for a child was very strong for every woman I observed and it was relentless.
I have read many articles on female choice, they were a waste of reading time because they all ended the same way, we do not know how females make their choice. I never saw an article about male choice so I only had memories of the married men during social time in the service and my own experience, all very quick.
Three of my friends and I were bowling. My best friend's wife and her girl friend were in Chicago shopping and he didn't know when they would return so he left a note saying where he was. His wife couldn't wait to tell him what they had bought and came to the bowling alley. I saw them as they entered and when I saw her girl friend I said to myself so that is my wife. She was excited when we were introduced. When I first kissed her I though she was going to have a heart attack because it was pounding so loud. We dated about every other week for a year and a half, travel time was about an hour and a half. On St Patrick's day there was a knock on my apartment door, no one ever knocked on my door everyone used the phone to contact me. It was my girl friend, she entered quickly, grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me into my bedroom. She said I know you don't want to get married until you are 28, but I don't want to wait any longer, I want a baby, now. A month and a half later she called and said she was pregnant and wanted to change our wedding date, I said no, every thing was arranged for June. She was so excited on our wedding day she could not remember it and I would tease her later that if we didn't have pictures she would never know what happened.
When I first saw our first born it was the same as all of the other previous events, matter of fact, it was what people did, I enjoyed each one, but never had the same emotion she had, until my parental instinct kicked in and wow, did I ever want that small one. My life, my thinking, my behavior would never be the same again.
I can easily remember my emotion after my parental instinct kicked in and how we all cried when our first dog died and how elated our daughters were when my wife asked what are we going to do to celebrate our anniversary. I said what anniversary, this is March. She said its St Patrick's day and our daughters said joyfully, it was Lynnie time. It did not matter that she was conceived our of wed lock, they were happy their mother was fulfilled.
And how depressed our children were when an unforgettable aunt died. I could remember many people saying big boys don't cry and my parents and teachers telling me, you must learn to control your temper. I said to myself that was a rather stupid statement, when I was mad, I was not in control, my temper was and it had to dissipate on its own.

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Q05 Sex Ed Book

My wife and I were asked to serve on a committee to choose a sex ed book for seventh grade. Each member of the committee was given five of the fifteen books. After I read my five, I read the five my wife had, and asked the committee chairman if I could read the last five. Then I asked for the book used at the high school. Sometime after the committee chose a book, I had the feeling that I had over looked something obvious, but could not determine what it was.
I was unhappy with myself, I had missed the obvious, none of the books mentioned how the student would feel as their bodies changed, or how their moods would change or why they should try to be careful with their responses to other people when they had those feelings.
Then I remembered my dad placing his hand on my head to hold me away from him as I flailed my arms until I fell to the floor exhausted. I have a very violent temper, like my dad, except mom could step in front of him and say 'now' and his anger would dissipate, no one ever found away to dissipate my anger and I would stay mad for ten days to two weeks. When first mad, I would strike anyone within reach, but for some unknown reason I stopped striking out sometime before I was 12 except when someone mentioned the holocaust and I could not escape, then I did strike out.
As I listened to myself I thought that must be true for all emotions and our genetic code was behind each one. If we satisfied our genetic code our brains would release the feel good neurotransmitter and we would be happy. When we didn't we would be frustrated and the feel good neurotransmitter would be absent which could lead to being mad, sad, or crying. Big boys do cry and they should. Sometimes I cried when our children learned something new, it was very pleasant for me.
Many times our genetic code does not give us any choice, but sometimes it does and that is where behavior modification can be effective. We should never try to stop our emotions, never keep them bottled up, never in courage them either, but we can modify our response to emotions. We should try to let them out as peacefully as possible. I learned from experience, when I did, the other people around me would recover quickly from any anxiety I caused which in turn allowed my anger to dissipate because after they recovered they would not do anything to increase my anger, there was no negative feed back.
Then I read a follow up report. The author was certain the feel good neurotransmitter was responsible for mother and child bonding. The report did not give any details and I wondered, if it was true, it could be extended to all of our pleasant experiences, the feel good neurotransmitter would be released in varying amounts according to the intensity of our pleasure, in everyone present. This would explain our bonds with friends and relatives and the behavior of my brother's friends and why their girlfriends were willing to take them back even though their personality had changed and why it had changed.
The bonds are a material resource stored in our brains via chemical and electrical signals, but they are only available at the non verbal level via feelings.
Every time we have sex the feel good neurotransmitter is released in large amounts and we form a very strong bond with our partner. More sex means more bonds and as the number of bonds increases our caring for our partner increases.
When my brother's friends walked away from their girlfriends they did not break very many bonds and they wanted to return to their previous caring relationship. For their girlfriends it was traumatic and many bonds were broken some of which caused a change in their personality, but some bonds still remained and they too wanted to restore a caring relationship plus they wanted security. But neither partner could restore the broken bonds which resulted an unstable relationship.
I knew it had to be more than love because love is a non material resource and non material resources can only be shared and sharing is an all or nothing activity, you either love the other person or you don't and you cannot love anyone more than another and you can share your love with as many people as you like and never run out.
Another report said women are the stronger sex, men were more powerful, but on all other factors women were stronger, they lived longer, they were survivors. Women were more important than men because they have a limited supply of eggs and only they could give birth where as one man could fertilize many women, men are expendable. This supported my view that it is genetic for men protect women, women were more valuable.
From my reading I knew our brains and body were dependent upon one another, they could not be separated. Even our intestines influence our brains, so if you have a gut feeling, go with it, it will be right more often than wrong and recently we have learned that our blood influences our brains, it does more than supply nutrients and remove waste. We will never have another body so we need to take care of it. Then I realized no one had any jurisdiction over what anyone did with their own body, nor did any person have jurisdiction to do anything to another person's body without their permission, no person, no group, no custom, no belief, no law, no religion.

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Q06 'Gay'

There were 8 children in my mother's family, she was the fifth and her younger brother was the sixth, he was 'gay'. When a neighbor woman questioned my mother, she said 'my brother is different, so what!' and the woman never talked to her again. After the war ended we would visit her family every summer for 10 days until the younger members moved away.
After our marriage, we would visit the members of my wife's extended family. The older generation were in their twenties during the 'Roaring Twenties'. Many were alcoholics, many divorces, and many his, her, and ours plus their other relatives. Two uncles and an aunt were 'gay'. Until our children were older we would visit some member almost every weekend until the family dispersed because of work, death, moving south, or a nursing home.
Before our marriage, a member of our bridge club begged me to help their theater group with two plays. They chose plays that needed men and they didn't have enough men. A few of the men played two parts, one in the first act and one in the third act. That way they could redo their make up. I agreed to do a very small bit part in each play. The leading male actor was gay and everyone knew it. For six months I worked with him making stage props, rehearsing, and acting, as well as going out for snacks and playing bridge with him. Never did I ever see, hear, or feel any form of discrimination, he was always treated as a member of the group.
After the first dress rehearsal of the first play, many of the cast went to the same place for a snack. I sat directly opposite of the lead male actor. I was distracted when a very shapely woman walked behind him. The other men were making comments, he didn't notice. I turned from being social to being observant. When some one walked behind him, I looked at the person next to him to conceal my actions. His head never turned when a woman walked past, but if a man did he watched the man like I watched a woman, it had to be instinctive. About five years later I observed the same in my wife's uncles.
I was disturbed when I met an anti gay group the first time, I only met three such groups and never more than three at a time and they were ignorant, young, white males. When I approached them they would move off to the side and away from me. I could not understand why they did so, my only conclusion was my body language communicated how much I despised them.
Five years later I read: the sex chromosomes determine the physical characteristics, but in some rare cases even that went awry. We are not born female as some have said, if the sex chromosome is XX the embryo produces more female hormones than male hormones, if XY the opposite. The amount of male hormones in a XX varied very little among many different embryos, but the female hormones did and the opposite for XY. Experiments indicated it was the male hormones that determined the secondary sex characteristics of each embryo. If the male hormones were below a certain level the female characteristic was chosen, if above the male one was.
There are many different stages in the development of an embryo so if the concentration of the male hormone varied at each one there could be both female and male characteristics in any given embryo. The report didn't state this was the cause of homosexuality, but it didn't take much thought to come to that conclusion and it also explained why there were so many different types of homosexuality. It also meant homosexuality was not learned, it is hard wired into their genetic code, 'gay' people do not have a choice and neither do the rest of us.
Several years later I read how our chromosomes exchanged genes before creating egg and sperm. The exchange was seldom precise, sometimes a gene would be inserted in the middle of another gene causing the first gene to produce incomplete proteins and sometimes the inserted gene could not be activated so when a cell needed its protein it would not be available. Sometimes a gene would be inserted near the end of one gene and over lap a following gene rendering all three defective. Sometimes the exchange would cause multiple copies of the same gene which can cause neurological diseases or it could cause the deletion of an otherwise functioning gene, again its protein would not be available when needed. Most of the time the result would not have any noticeable effect because many genes have multiply copies that would supply the missing proteins, but if the result was severe, the embryo would abort before the woman knew she was pregnant, sometimes the result was disastrous, and sometimes a new beneficial gene was created allowing evolution to continue. It also meant that dysfunctional people would always be with us.
Regardless, it meant all sexually determined creatures were GMO's. Even what is called traditional cross breading can cause the same events to take place. In other words, there is no safe way to change the genetics of any individual even the new CRISPR which is much more precise.
My objection to GMO's is when the changes are made so toxic materials can be used, we don't need more toxins in our environment, but the other GMO's should be checked for safety. We produce many toxic materials and only about 600 are on the do not use list. To many people are unwilling to pay taxes to check for safety, something I cannot fathom.
Several years later I read: from a gene point of view, men should have sex with as many women as possible to ensure his genes were passed on to the next generation and a woman should have sex with as many men as possible to ensure her egg would have the best sperm possible. But for the genes to survive the child needed to survive or the genes would never produce the next generation. Because of our long physical and mental development, about sixteen for the physical and twenty eight for the mental, two parents provide the best survival rate. This meant the 'gene' and 'survival' were in contention, a contention does not have a solution only some point in between and our genetic point is almost all survival.
Because women mature sooner than men and have a limited supply of eggs, their sex drive directs them to become pregnant before men are ready to become parents which usually results in a bad marriage. Many young men are only interested in sex, they think 'me' while the women think 'we' and if they marry before their brains are mature their parenting instinct does not always kick in leaving them feeling trapped and they seldom enjoy their children until later so they do not provide the male influence their children need at a young age from which some never recover.
Because of the difference between the time women and men mature another contention is created for which there is no solution, it is up to us to find a point in between. Even though women mature sooner, their uterus is not fully mature until about 22. So a woman should wait to become pregnant until 22 and a man should wait until he is 28 when the brains of both sexes are mature. There is no battle between the sexes, there are two contentions, one at the genetic level and we need to find some point in between for the other that will satisfy the sex drive of both men and women.

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Q07 Drugs

I read an article explaining how drugs caused neurons to grow additional receptors which meant the addict had to use more to get the same effect. From what I had read about drugs I thought once an addict always an addict and I frequently said there is no such thing as a recreational drug, but our son would tell me some people do not become addicts. Then by accident I read about a long term study, 30 years, which said what our son was telling me was true. Because the other reports only considered people who were already addicts their population did not represent the whole population. The long term study followed a large number of young people before they experimented with drugs and then followed them for as long as possible. More than half stopped using drugs by age 25 without any help. About a quarter would use drugs for awhile then stop and then restart, they could stop at any time. Less than a quarter were the true addicts.
But what was interesting to me was they cited another report that appeared to have nothing to do with addiction. It was about a group of doctors at research hospital trying to determine which hormones were active and inactive during labor and following birth. They found one they were not looking for, the feel good neurotransmitter, it increased after birth. They broadened their search and found it increased when a woman was engaged, married, became pregnant, when she first saw her baby, but it spiked when she first held her baby, then it decreased and rose again when she nursed and then decreased again.
I had heard women say 'men seem to enjoy sex more than women'. An explanation occurred to me, when a man had sex, he had satisfied his genetic role and it seemed logical that the feel good neurotransmitter would spike very high where as in a woman the amount of the feel good neurotransmitter would be spread over many genetic roles as she fulfilled each one, with holding her baby being the highest, but still below that of a man.


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